DON’T FRET, THE HIATUS IS OVER – FFB Week 7 – 12 TAKEAWAYS

I have to start out with an apology. I’ve been notably absent over the past 3 weeks due to some health complications and real life stuff that popped up. I didn’t wanna get into it because it’s a personal issue, but if you must know: my penile reduction operation was unsuccessful. It didn’t take. To Dr. Smith at Penile Reduction Specialists, if you’re reading this, I’ll see your ass in court.

Anyways, I hope you can accept my sincere apology and we can move on. We’ve got a lot to talk about after a few weeks of NFL action but thankfully, I’m back, and we can do that now. Where do I even begin?

1. I guess we’ll talk about the most dominant play in NFL history. The Tush Push AKA The Brotherly Shove is still unstoppable and people can’t stop crying about it, namely Joe Schad. It’s been a topic of conversation all year and while many have tried, it seems like everyone’s pissed that they’re just flat-out not good at it. Between Jason Kelce burrowing up under there like a Sandshrew and Jalen Hurts going full Machamp to power his way forward, no one else can utilize it the way the Eagles do.

The Tush Push is not a legitimate football play. It’s not how football was meant to be played. It’s also lame and can cause injuries. Nobody except Eagles fans will miss it once it’s banned in the off-season.

— Joe Schad (@schadjoe) October 23, 2023

To the rest of the NFL that can’t seem to figure it out/wants to complain about it being dangerous: Jealousy is a disease – get well soon. I’m starting the think the Eagles’ draft strategy the past two years has been to pluck a few guys that could potentially stop the Tush Push, Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter, to ensure a higher likelihood of success.

Also, the kelly green Eagles kit is pure uniform eroticism.

2a. The Giants are better with Tyrod Taylor at quarterback. A win’s a win and I don’t care what you’re paying Daniel Jones, he can’t automatically slide back in as starter the way Taylor has looked. THIS JUST IN: You have Darren Waller on your team and good things happen when you get the ball in his hands. He’s one of the best tight ends in the league and Daniel Jones was seemingly allergic to throwing it his way. He caught 7 passes from Tyrod for 98 yards and a touchdown on Sunday. There were also multiple instances where Tyrod Taylor threw it up and let Jalin Hyatt, the fastest WR on the team and maybe the league, run under it for vertical strikes. Saquon also had a nice day and the offense as a whole was decidedly less lethargic than when Daniel Jones was in there despite scoring just 14 points. Sometimes the game scripting gives us low-scoring ballgames and 14 points is all the Giants needed. They should see where they go from here and “let Daniel Jones fully heal”.

Is it any wonder that Daniel Jones has a hurt neck? I’m not sure there’s a longer, more susceptible neck than this one. It’s huge!

2b. The Browns paid all that money for Deshaun Watson just to be better with PJ Walker at quarterback. The Browns are a garbage organization so this is unsurprising. Here are two shysters laughing about how much money they’re stealing from the fans, probably:

It was a thrilling shootout win over the Colts on Sunday and PJ Walker dueled his balls off. All this coming off a season-changing win over the 49ers last week. Sure, it was a win against a backup this week (Gardner Minshew) but it was a gutsy win nonetheless and the Browns are 4-2.

3. Justin Jefferson’s record-breaking season is in jeopardy since he got injured, so we’ll do Tyreek Hill instead.

4. Justin Herbert is a bum. I mentioned it after their week 2 loss to the lowly Titans and alluded to his lack of killer instinct. I’ve progressed all the way to “he just isn’t that great”. How long are we gonna give this guy a free pass? He’s the fantasy QB7, still a very good option, but in the real world I think he gets too much leniency for his arm talent and not enough criticism for losing winnable games. I know they’re out there and I’m sick of the “blame Brandon Staley” crowd – eventually winners win and the good outweighs whatever bad there may be.

Justin Herbert to Keenan Allen sheesh pic.twitter.com/nOGWLDsm8Y

— Ian Hartitz (@Ihartitz) October 23, 2023

There isn’t an easier pass to complete. I could complete that pass. A few weeks ago there was a trending question on the internet, “could you complete one NFL pass?” The answer is yes, the one above. No pressure with a wide open receiver and he airmails it? What’s this guy’s deal?

Maybe Brandon Staley is bogging down his starting QB to some degree, but throws like this have to be automatic and Herbert has been nothing more than an above average, .500 caliber starting QB that can’t get to the postseason.

5. The Titans should never have traded AJ Brown. Mike Vrabel knew it right when it happened.

Currently at WR3 after his 10/137/1 game on Monday night, he’s been lights out for 5 straight weeks. He flopped ’em out and led the Eagles to a huge win over the Dolphins in primetime, meanwhile the Titans are fire-selling everything in their inventory and starting from scratch.

***As I was typing this I saw that the Titans traded Kevin Byard to the Eagles, further supplying them with the necessary stars for another Super Bowl run. The tank is on, Ran Carthon has seen enough, and Mike Vrabel is in hell for the rest of the season as they’re essentially waving the white flag. The question now: Malik Willis or Will Levis?

6. The Jags offense is clicking. They’ve rattled off four straight wins en route to first place in the AFC South. Travis Etienne Jr. has gone off (RB1 in weeks 5 through 7 by a longshot) and Trevor Lawrence is facialing the haters online.

Y’all keep your opinions and we’ll keep finding ways to win #Analysts pic.twitter.com/22xQHp2SIA

— Trevor Lawrence (@Trevorlawrencee) October 21, 2023

7. Travis Kelce is still dating Taylor Swift in case you haven’t seen. Here’s a picture of Taylor rubbing her lips on his face.

I know their blossoming relationship has consumed the news cycle but Travis Kelce did in fact play football on Sunday. He is TE1, in case anyone cares. He had 12 catches for 179 yards and a touchdown, but all anyone can talk about is that Taylor Swift planted one of his cheek for a picture. It sure looks like Taylor Swift has…. caught Kelce.

8. Alvin Kamara is the coolest dude in the league. He’s also still quite good at football and a very entertaining player. He’s averaging almost 9 receptions a game to go with his slippery running that we’re used to seeing (averaging ~65 ypg on the ground since his return). The Saints aren’t very good and Derek Carr severely limits their offense, but Alvin is still fun. He’s RB8 in the 4 weeks he’s played and that’s with just one TD scored in that span. He’s still a lethal fantasy option thanks to his work in the passing game as Derek Carr’s favorite checkdown target. He’s silky smooth on the field and off. Peep the scarf.

Alvin Kamara on Saints leaving opportunities on the field pic.twitter.com/wZ5w7bQ3yX

— NOF (@nofnetwork) October 20, 2023

9. George Pickens has no regard for his own safety when he tries to throw buck-wild blocks and I love it. I don’t even know what he’s going for here, but he gets helicopter’d trying to run downfield and make a block that probably wouldn’t have mattered even if he’d made it. He had a pretty nice day receiving with 5 catches for 107 yards to go with this ill-advised acrobatic play. He’s currently WR16 even with two abysmal fantasy performances and an early bye week included.

George Pickens loves getting air #Steelers #NFL pic.twitter.com/WbNBVWhtHq

— Steelers Depot (@Steelersdepot) October 23, 2023

10. The 49ers have lost two straight after winning 15 games in a row, but I still can’t help but feel like they’re best-equipped to win the Super Bowl. This isn’t exactly a hot take, but they’ve fallen out of favor after a second consecutive loss (Vegas now likes the Chiefs to win at +450, narrowly edging the 49ers at +500).

Throughout the season there’s a great deal of ebb and flow in the NFL. Just look at the Ravens. Two weeks ago they lost to the Steelers, an objectively inferior team, while looking generally like dildos. Fast forward to this week and they smashed the Lions into smithereens, 38-6. Now everyone’s talking about Lamar and how good they can be, putting them top-5 in their power rankings. It’s a long regular season and there’s no benefit to peaking in week 7, and what’s the real concern with their roster? Brock Purdy was bound to come back down to earth but he’s shown that he’s capable of winning big games, especially in the postseason. The 49ers defense was held in check last night, unable to get to Kirk Cousins even once, but we all know this was an outlier. The Vikings didn’t light it up, per se, but Jordan Addison (WR12 currently ) punished their secondary for two touchdowns and the 49ers offense sputtered to just 17 points. A pair of interceptions by Brock Purdy with the second one thrown with 0:34 on the clock sealed the deal and killed the comeback. This one slipped away, but it was still a very winnable game, despite their shortcomings.

11. Bill Belichick was never getting shitcanned. Shame on any of you dorks that said his job was in jeopardy. Belichick and Bob Kraft are thick as thieves and his extension in the midst of a nightmare season just proves that. They had a nice win on Sunday over the Bills at home, so maybe they’re on the right track back to excellence.

12. Chris Olave got arrested for reckless driving. He was going 35 mph over the speed limit. Definitely a bummer and if Henry Ruggs taught us anything, it’s not to speed. Not to justify it, but he was probably driving away from Derek Carr as fast as he possibly could after this:

Derek Carr is FURIOUS at Chris Olave for giving up on the route.
pic.twitter.com/P5Grf6283F

— SleeperNFL (@SleeperNFL) October 20, 2023

Nothing like your fancy-pants quarterback flinging it 6 yards out of bounds then getting irate that you didn’t levitate to catch it and teleport yourself back down in bounds. Why is he so animated on an uncatchable pass? Does he feel his starting job slipping away? Perhaps it’s Jameis time in NOLA… In spite of his QB, Olave had 7 catches for just 57 yards on 15 targets.

Speaking of 15 targets… FANTASY ADVICE: Buy low on Chris Olave. He just got arrested so maybe there are sellers out there. And yeah, it wasn’t the most stellar output on Thursday and he’s only got 1 TD to speak of this year. However, he’s currently 4th in air yards (completed passes + incomplete target yardage). He’s seeing almost 10 targets per game and if Derek Carr can get his shit together and connect with him more, Olave should convert on some of those unrealized air yards and easily crack the top 15 fantasy WRs list.

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(These are in no particular order, pick who you like/need/is available and go WIN THE WAIVER WIRE!)

1. Darrell Henderson – What the frickin’ heck? Everyone thought Zach Evans was set to be the guy while Kyren Williams is on IR and Sean McVay had to go get all wacky on us. Zero snaps for Evans! Henderson handled most of the work on Sunday including some goal line looks, even scoring a TD. Royce Freeman is also in the mix for the Rams, but Darrell Henderson had 18 carries and seemed like the most reliable option on Sunday. He’s also good in pass protection, which doesn’t count for fantasy points, but coaches like that:

Big reason the Rams brought back Darrell Henderson was for his ability in pass protection.

Picks up the blitzing DB here which allows Stafford to step up and run for the first down. pic.twitter.com/I4KcwowDXS

— Blaine Grisak (@bgrisakTST) October 24, 2023

2. Cam Akers – If you’re like me and you’ve been hurt by Cam Akers before, I know this is a tough ask. But think about it: The Minnesota backfield has massively underwhelmed – they’ve yet to score a rushing touchdown all season and it’s almost November. Alexander Mattison hasn’t been able to step into the role that Dalvin Cook had and it’s been a grind for their running game. Cam Akers is talented, he got 12 total touches for 61 yards last night, and it feels like there’s a definite shift in that backfield heading into week 8.

3. Jalin Hyatt – The Giants finally realized they have a legit burner in Hyatt and got him involved on Sunday. It was just two catches for 75 yards, but even that’s passable if you’re in a bind. Tyrod Taylor seems to be more adept at spreading the ball out and Hyatt is a deep threat in the truest sense. I think about him about how I thought about DeSean Jackson – he can leave you in the dust at the drop of a hat but it’s just a matter of whether or not a Giants quarterback can get the ball out there to him. He’s able to do more than just beat defenders deep, and I think the Giants are discovering that slowly but surely.

4. Rashee Rice – if he’s still available. He’s separating himself from the rest of the Chiefs WRs and Kadarius Toney is a distant memory at this point. He is, however, still behind Kelce and that will drastically affect his targets but he’s about the best receiver Mahomes has on that roster and he could continue to gain steam.

5. Josh Downs – another rookie, if he’s still available. He officially broke out on Sunday, he’s playing roughly 75% of the offensive snaps for the Colts and is seeing a healthy target share. I still think Pittman is the primary dude in Indy, but Downs is thriving in a secondary role and might just draft off Pittman to a top-20ish rookie season.

6. Joshua Palmer – another former Tennessee Volunteer on the list (are you sensing a theme?), he’s stepped into the void left by Mike Williams when he went down for the season. At first, folks thought it might be Quentin Johnston, but he’s been a non-factor and has caught just 7 passes all year. Palmer operated at a fairly high level last year and he’s rarely coming off the field in a pass-heavy offense.

Thanks for reading and I’m glad to be back in the swing of things. Check back next week for more expert-level fantasy analysis. Good luck out there and win the waiver wire!